Daughter and I when she was 14. Today she is a 25 year old mother herself.
I had my 50th birthday in May. A HUGE deal to me who has a phobia of getting old and dying. Yes a phobia. I don't know when it started but the last 3 years my head has been consumed with the topic of dying and death. My last grandparent, my grandfather passed away on one of my son's birthdays. May 27th. It was sudden and unexpected. Hub and I took a car and drove to Maine because he was in the hospital, ill and had been for a week or two. He had recently had an operation and was recovering but then suddenly had bad abdominal pain and was readmitted to the hospital where they discovered his lower intestine needed removing, so they did it. During the surgery he suddenly took a turn for the worst so they never finished closing the site and stopped short of it which left him in stable condition for days. Every time they attempted to go back in and finish his vital signs took a dive and they would stop.
Within days, his 88 year old life took a turn for the worse and as it happened, he died in front of me and my immediate family the day we visited. The fact he is gone freaks me out. I can't take his number out of my phone though I know his phone is now disconnected and I was recently notified I was a beneficiary in part of his will which should make me feel better but it only makes me feel worse. My grandparents were such a huge part of my life.
My children and hub are well. My son who lived here is in Florida, my other in Maine. My hub is not a happy camper and just wants to move us back to England sooner than later and I am also torn on that subject. He deserves to after 12 years be back home near his own family, children and our grandchildren but doing so means my leaving mine behind too. There is no happy answer there. Going for a visit isn't an option because he has no time off from work especially now he is only working 35-38 hours. The economy is bleeding us monthly and we just make a couple hundred over our rent payment.
Life together as far as I'm concerned is good so long as nothing changes either way. I appreciate my husband and all he does and I let him know it daily. I always have. Just him bringing me a cup of coffee still means alot to me after 12 years and "thank you" from me is well meant. The only sad thing about him being homesick is he cheats himself of the simple daily moments we have together to enjoy what we DO have. We will have the budget to move once grandfather's benefit is handed to me, that terrifies me.
